What to Expect from a Cuddle Workshop? We Experience the Ultimate Intimacy of Human Touch

Cuddle Workshops offer attendees a space to explore the importance of touch in a non-sexual environment. They are designed to “which explores affection, intimacy, boundaries and verbal/non-verbal communication” and are open to all. I attended a ‘Cuddling for Beginners’ class, to better understand how these events helped a group of strangers to literally embrace one another.

Words: L.Gilbert

Image: Cuddle Workshop, UK. 

I arrived fifteen minutes early to the workshop, but hesitated before I enter the door labeled 'Room 1'. I have to admit, I was feeling nervous. I wasn't entirely sure what to expect, but I knew I was about to engage in four hours of intimacy with absolute strangers.

When I finally plucked up the courage and entered the room, I found a trio of smiling women. One sat behind a table laden with biscuits, hot drinks and a large jar of mints, and offered me my name tag (punctuated with a little heart). Another gave me a laminated piece of paper with an ice breaker question. I dutifully went and asked the next person who entered the room "when was the last time you had a really amazing meal?" After a chat about the merits of London-based fish and chips, we discussed our reasons for attending a cuddle workshop.

For my part, I was intrigued by the idea of a space to explore platonic touch. As a teenager, I had been quite tactile, but became increasingly less so in recent years. I wanted to explore the idea of physical connection without worrying that my hugs would be misinterpreted. My companion told me she loves cuddling, and signed up to the workshop just this morning. She too had no idea what to expect.

What followed was an afternoon of sharing. We were asked to share our names, and how we were feeling. We asked one another if we could "share a hug". We shared the emotions stirred up by the exercises. Throughout the session, there was a real emphasis on being generous with ourselves, and one another.

"The experience of a cuddle workshop is subjective. Some participants would cry after an exercise, as the intimacy of the moment allowed for a great emotional release." 

The workshop was made up of a series of exercises. The nature of these was varied: one exercise involved lying with your head in a partner's lap, while he or she stroked your head, arm, shoulders and back. Another played with the idea of presence, asking us to feel the difference between touching someone when distracted, touching someone when he or she is distracted, and touching someone when both of you are focused on the moment. There was an exercise involving an embrace known as a "melting hug". There was another where we practiced saying "no" to a proffered cuddle, and explored what it felt like to both reject and be rejected. This focus on consent, and accepting one another’s boundaries, was key: our leaders, Anna and Andrew, created an environment of communal respect. People were able to opt out of exercises, and we were told to ask our partner's permission before we reached out and touched them. We were also told to thank everyone we shared a physical connection with, and to thank those who didn't want to be touched. At the end of the workshop, many of the attendees told the group that they felt "grateful", and no wonder: we were constantly encouraged to engage with this warm emotion.

The experience of a cuddle workshop is subjective. Some participants would cry after an exercise, as the intimacy of the moment allowed for a great emotional release. Two men both explained how stroking another man's arms reminded them of their fathers, and how this memory helped reconfigure their preconception about male-male touch. One attendee announced at the end of the session that he felt energised; many others that they felt calm. Some, no doubt, left that afternoon feeling that they would stay on their oxytocin high for a while yet. Some, no doubt, felt their initial anxiety completely subside shortly into the session. Others may have felt the occasional stirring of nerves, but were able to accept this, and still engage with others.

"I wanted to explore the idea of physical connection without worrying that my hugs would be misinterpreted."

I entered the workshop intrigued, but sceptical. I left with an appreciation of how open people can be, and an acute awareness of how quickly two individuals can connect. I feel that every embrace I shared today told me so much about the person I shared with, and I wonder how much they now know of me.

I also left having experienced some jolly lovely hugs indeed.

#WomenWhoWork Behind the Beauty Industry: Interview with Product Developer of Turbliss

It’s not just the founders that pave the way for ethical and natural cosmetics, but the people behind the scenes, although often understated, play a crucial role as well. I had the amazing opportunity to share a cuppa with Triin Truu, a product developer and lab enthusiast from Estonia. Triin works as a product developer for Turbliss, an Estonian beauty brand drawing its power from peat, offering a range of bioactive products for your hair and skin for daily use. A natural beauty herself, she’s a true inspiration for finding your way into vegan cosmetics. At a quaint café in Tartu, Estonia, we delved into the behind the scenes of beauty industry. 

Words: Johanna Raudsepp

Triin Truu, Product Developer of Turbliss. 

Let’s start with you. How did you find your way to genetics?

Well, I was born in Viljandi [Estonia]. I had always enjoyed biology. I remember seeing some documentary about genome therapy, and then I thought to myself, “Wow, this is really game-changing – I want to do that!”. That’s when I knew I would be studying genome technology at the University of Tartu. I was convinced that this was my true calling. 

What brought the big change? I feel that sometimes university programmes can really disappoint. How did it go with you?

In high-school I used to be rather quiet and shy. But I feel like I completely changed during university years. They always try to make students more active and make them take part in different social activities. So, I ended up in the group of people who organised all the parties and events. The experience I gained made me open up. 

To be honest, I was a bit disappointed. I had this huge dream of working with people and learning about the human body. But it ended up being more focused on bacteria! That’s when I really had to re-think my choices. 

From there, losing your interest in studying genetics, you ended up working for Turbliss, a brand that focuses on a range of natural peat skincare and haircare products. Seems like quite a big U-turn. 

In a way, it was, because it wasn’t anything I had ever considered before. However, I realised that I love make-up and I love beauty, so why not use my skills for that? I started to focus more on microbiology and learn more about the skin structure and how it functions. A good thing about my programme was that I got a lot of laboratory experience, which is what I essentially do today – I work in a lab and stir up new things from natural ingredients. 

Now that you work in a natural cosmetics company, has your beauty routine changed at all?

I use less make-up now for sure [laughs]. I definitely value sleep more. When I do use make-up, I try to go for naturally-made products. I like Ontic Minerals, which is an Estonian brand and they don’t add anything extra – it’s clean and exactly what you need for everyday. I used to use regular cosmetics brands when going out, but just that one night caused my skin to lash out and look terrible. 

"I had this huge dream of working with people and learning about the human body. But it ended up being more focused on bacteria!" 

Where does the difference come from? We often try to compare 'natural' with ‘regular’, but what is that determing factor in, for example, face creams?

The pH level is really important. For me, it’s important that the pH level is similar to our skin's own – around 5.5. Turbliss has a peat tonic that has quite a low pH level. It helps strengthen the skin and bring down the pH level, if you use other [chemical] products. Now, what happens when the pH is too high in a product is that your skin becomes dry and the wrong bacteria feel more at home – and that’s not good for your skin. More itchiness, redness – the unpleasant things.  

"What happens when the pH is too high in a product is that your skin becomes dry and the wrong bacteria feel more at home – and that’s not good for your skin." 

I think it’s really important nowadays to know what you are buying and where it comes from.  What’s your take on sustainable consumption and lifestyle choices, and how do you apply it in your life?

That’s an interesting topic, actually. I was just discussing the new plastic bag campaign with my granddad yesterday. They stopped giving out those small plastic bags in supermarkets in Estonia. But we realised that, surely, it does reduce the amount of plastic bags in circulation, but a lot of our food is still packaged and stored in plastic. There’s two sides to every coin. I try to use canvas bags when I go shopping. I think that if we want to call for change, we need to start the change from ourselves. 

Like in those zero-waste stores in Germany and Denmark, and there are a few here in Estonia, too. They have a package-free concept. 

Exactly. At first I thought I was weird when I put unpacked fruit and veggies on the counter, but it’s a tiny way to help the environment. That’s one thing I really like about Turbliss products as well – we use glass packaging, which can later be easily recycled. 

Another aspect of appreciating slow living is spending more time with yourself and not rushing everywhere. How do you like to unwind?

I enjoy hiking in the forest on weekends or taking the dog out to the seaside.  My dog loves it so much! I like travelling, too, especially in Estonia. There are so many strange places to discover here. I know I work with peat, but I really love our bogs. Time just stands still there. It’s just you, the silence, and the fresh air. 

If you could explore a place anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Probably somewhere in the Carribbean. You know, the first thought that popped into my head was that I’d go to my summer home in the country. Build a summer kitchen, make a herb garden and grow herbs. My boyfriend and I really enjoy cooking. It’s a great way to spend time together. 

Finally, what advice would you give on cosmetics to our readers?

It’s not all about the brands – sometimes small and less known brands make products just as great, only that it won’t cost you an arm and a leg to buy it. Don’t hesitate to read the ingredients and ask for assistance. Usually, ingredients with very complicated chemical names are actually some very basic compound, like coconut oil. Less is more. With a lot of ethical natural cosmetics brands you get what you need – no bullshit. And that’s what I love about it. 

Should I Start Practicing? — The Healing Power of Meditation

Words: Alexandra Mozgovaya 

There is no space left for beautiful silence and inner reflection in our frantic worlds. Hi-tech, social media equipped information cult, action-packed lifestyles and a mindset striving for success 24/7 often separate us from balanced mental health and inner strength. It seems like it’s almost impossible to feel really present in our actions and unconditionally happy in the fast-paced daily grind, and it has become equally challenging to stay mentally fit and focused under pressure - "I must succeed", "I must be better than the others", "I must do more than I can physically cope with" are common, unending fear-induced mantras circulating in our minds every day, without us even paying close attention to these fears chasing us silently. Finding harmony and balance in every little thing we do in life is a key to becoming more aware of our actions and making the most out of our valuable skills, without destroying ourselves and our mental strength along with the cult of squeezing out more of our valuable inner batteries every day entirely. It's a real battlefield. We should reflect inwards, find the true meaning of our path and connect with our actions: only silence can help us to re-evoke our inner spirit, regain mental strength and re-evaluate the meaning of our actions and words.  

Meditation is an ancient practice that dates far back in history, but we now concentrate on the latest facts and discoveries. For the past seven years, scientific world has brought us a lot of knowledge about meditation and it's correlation to inner peace, yet the topic is still being carefully studied.

In 2010, The Buddha, the Brain, and the Science of Happiness: A Practical Guide for Transforming Your Life was published worldwide by Rick Hanson Ph.D., consisting of a body of research on meditation’s influence on brain work. A year later, in 2011, Mark Williams and Dr Danny Penman published the book Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Finding peace in a Frantic World that describes the clear scientific effects of meditation and its studied effect on our mind.

Richard O'Connor, a psychotherapist with 30 years of experience and an author of popular books on the treatment of depression, happiness and bad habits, published his own book called Undoing Depression: What Therapy Doesn't Teach You and Medication Can't Give You, which successfully proves that meditation is an effective practice helping to deal with emotional downs.

Thich Nath Hanh is a Zen Buddhist monk from Vietnam, rector of the Buddhist meditation center, author of more than 100 books on Buddhism, meditation and awareness. His book Silence: The Power of Quiet in a World Full of Noise also confirms there's a strong connection between meditation and easing our mind, proving that meditation is here helping to guide us to purposeful life, inner peace and living in the present. 

We need silence and mere empty minutes for ourselves without any thoughts, worries, opinions, comparison and hypothesis chasing us. All quiet. Void. Information surrounds us everywhere and every minute, we are flooded with the flow of information without even being aware of it: we think, look back, analyse, reflect and contemplate and compare everything - the people, events, daily news and facts, all of it causing unending mental disdain. So we have to find a way to a moment of calmness and give our brains a rest. Meditation is that rest. We should all give ourselves a moment of silence and strive for purposeful living and re-evaluate the true purpose of our actions; we should seek and connect with our inner tranquil, and learn to be more present in today. Only that way the daily grind of silently striving for success and wealth and fame doesn't drain our delicate hearts and carelessly destroy our inner spirit, the true powers of life guiding us forward each day. 

Don't worry about the religious aspect of meditation. Most practices, which are available for us, are not directly connected to Buddism, yet are natural to follow.

How to start a simple meditation practice after a hard day?

Meditation in 3 steps:

1. Sit as you like, no matter how – the key factor is personal comfort. Turn off sounds in you room and ask family members not to bother you for 10 minutes. You can close your eyes, or you may not, it is all about what suits the best for you.

2. Just sit and concentrate on your breathing: inhale and exhale. Don't try to control the breathing, just observe. During this time you will experience a constant flow of thoughts and ideas, you may have a desire to do something, to count how much there is to do this evening or tomorrow morning. Let these thoughts flow.

3. Observe these sentences and free them one by one, making sure you continue to concentrate only on breathing. Let go of all of your troubling thoughts and what-if-s one by one. The power of breathing leaves no space for emotionally-draining, negative thoughts. After 10 minutes you can return to everyday work. Meditation practice complete.

There’s a variety of meditation practices available, so you can do any you like. This one is simple and easy to practice whenever and wherever.

Results of meditation?

From scientific viewpoint, meditation can recreate neural communication in our brain – we feel much more positive about ourselves and experience happiness, reduced stress levels and reaction to anxiety.  Physical brain abilities rise and happiness hormones in the body develop faster and more effectively. In most researches, meditation practice indicates growth and effectiveness in assistance to fight depression, anxiety disorders and other emotional worries.

Have a moment of silence, reflect inwards and be healthy!